In a previous post, I talked about how fundamental relationships are to our mental health and wellbeing. I’ve also written in the past, as part of Time to Talk, about how important having a strong network of friends and family can be to help you get through difficult times. We all need someone to lean on from time to time, and I have also been the person trying to provide support to other people when they are going through difficult times. I hold no formal qualification in counselling, psychotherapy, as a psychologist or a psychiatrist – most of us don’t – but I have considerable experience of managing and working with people in a range of settings. I also undertook a Masters at the Tavistock and Portman Clinic – one of the country’s leading mental health training centres.

As a result, I consider myself a well-informed individual with some relevant experience and skills when it comes to trying to support other people. In common with most people, I will try to listen, offer observations and suggestions (as well as the inevitable cup of tea). Most people will have worked out some coping mechanisms along the way. Some of these may be useful in the short-term but less so in the longer-term – alcohol is firmly in that category for me. Such stress and emotional management approaches can be useful but if used over a protracted period risk increasing the distress we are experiencing.

What we need to do is ensure that the bulk of our coping strategies are drawn from the more positive means of managing and coping with the stress, distress or mental health issue we are confronting. These will vary from person to person; one person might have a desire to paint, another to get out in the garden, another to go for a walk. In one sense, there are no rights and wrongs here, if it works for you then it is good. However, we know a lot about what tends to work for most people, and the three that stand out in that regard are exercise, food and sleep. The quality of the content is also important here.

Exercise has become, for me, a fundamental part of how I regulate my emotions and find time to reflect and think through what is happening in my life. I cycle, I run, I walk and occasionally take part in other activities (I used to play badminton, football, squash and other sports but a knee injury put paid to that). If I do not get some proper exercise for a few days I get grumpy (my wife has been known to almost physically push me out the door to go for a run). I used to say I exercised to keep fit, I now say that I do so to keep sane. It also helps, for me, to keep at bay a tendency towards getting a bit SAD at this time of year.

Food is a another fundamental building block of our lives. The calories, fibre, vitamins, amino acids, fats, micro-nutrients and so forth that we eat literally fuel us through our lives. Junk food won’t kill us quickly but if it is all we eat then we greatly increase our chances of suffering ill-health and dying sooner. I suspect this is even more important when we are battling with stress, depression or anxiety. Press coverage of what we should, and should not, eat is often profoundly unhelpful. While our knowledge is growing, I don’t think you can go far wrong with the words of Michael Pollan, “Eat food, not too much, mostly plants”.

Finally, sleep, this is one area which can be harder to control yourself. Insomnia can be a terrible affliction and despite the training in sleep deprivation that having children offers you, I don’t think not getting enough sleep is something that anyone learns to cope with. For me though, following the first two steps above helps considerably with any problems I may have sleeping. Get some exercise, eat healthily, lay off the alcohol and, more often than not, I will sleep pretty well. I know that some will consider me lucky on that count!

That is my experience mixed in with some of the evidence and knowledge we have on maintaining, recovering and managing when you are experiencing challenges with your mental health. The critical thing though, is what works for you both in the short and longer-term. The evidence is what works for the majority, you may be different, and finding out what works for you is a journey that is well worth undertaking.